User talk:Alexander Dunwall

Let's go over your comment, very thoroughly, as you went through mine. Nice attention to detail, by the way. If you weren't such a tragically bitter fuck, then maybe I would admire that about you. It's a real fucking shame; you and I could have been good friends in a different time (and, of course, if I had a different answer to the politics question, which, for some reason, you can't seem to see past. Weird. I dunno. I guess you like people getting killed because they support other people in politics, because that's the logic that makes that happen.) Before I go on, though: could you lay off the fucking self-censoring? It just makes you look like you're afraid of words, and as our lord and saviour George Carlin said, "the words themselves are innocent!"

So let's get one thing straight: I don't support Bernie just because I've either been homeless or lived in cheap trailers most of my life. That's got a lot to do with it, because he's the only candidate that seems to give a fuck about my situation, too, and not just his own self, but the policies he supports - I'll spell this out real slow for you - have made every country that has tried them very, very happy. That tells me that maybe, just maybe, he's got a good fucking idea, and we should try it. I'm also not saying "fuck everyone else", lol. If Bernie got a good four year run and that happened to fuck up the lives of the middle-class and others who happen to be in different situations, then I would eat my words. Until then, stop judging chicks that haven't hatched, okay? Okay.

Also, you've never once tried to have a nice, civil debate with me. Why? Because you are a bitter, angry young "man" who is angry at the world, and cannot see through that anger. Not my fucking fault, though, and I refuse to feel bad for you. Pity is a worse dishonour than insult. Maybe I would change my outlook if you tried that a little.

Apparently Mary never told you this - probably because you'd treat her even worse if she brought me up - but after being with her and having some civil debates ourselves, I have actually changed my mind on some things. Why? Because she provided honest, well-reasoned logic for her argument and was willing to present that argument civilly. Try it sometime!

Not that it would matter to a bitter old fuck like yourself. Debating with people like your good self is like, as the saying goes, playing chess with a pigeon. The bird will shit all over the board and strut around like it's won anyway, so fuck it. I don't wanna have a good, civil debate with you. You'd use ad-hominem more than logic, and I've never been partial to the illogical. Sorry, but I like a little reason with my alphabet soup.

Oh, stop that "your personality is bad!!11!1!!" bullshit. Fuck you. You've got the worst personality I've ever met - and I've met a lot of bad motherfuckers. You're angry, bitter, constantly rude, angry with the world, arrogant, and trashy. Fuck you and fuck your entitled ass. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, again, as the saying goes. Nothing wrong with a good cliche to add to an already-cringeworthy argument, lol.

I hate 4chan as much as you do. My personality has nothing to do with some disgusting fucking website like that. If anything, my personality has been inspired more by the good people of the various MH wikias, as well as Central wikia. The internet is one big, huge, immeasurably large meme, full of the same fake-ass people and stupid personalities. Mine is no different from the vast majority of other internet users. Since you are, as I already knew but you so clearly outlined, confined to it, I would get used to it. Seeing as how, after all, it will probably be your only exposure to the world.

Some life that has to be, by the way. Not that I'd know a life where I could afford medicine, but you know what I mean. I mean, that part, I know I said I didn't, but I do pity you a little bit - in the same way that a passing pedestrian pities the ass left tied to a tree while the farmer drinks in the reek. But yeah, I got you - you're angry at the world because without a lot of medical treatments and an absurd amount of money, you will never be able to experience the real world. Ironically, maybe if you supported democratic socialism more, you'd get that treatment - seeing as the capitalists you wax your carrot to would, knowing your condition, charge you five times as much. Since you have to have the medicine anyway, they could extort you any way they like. Socialism, socialism, is the only thing standing between your freedom and an old white man metaphorically holding you by the balls because he knows that you have no better choice - he's got a copyright on your medications, he owns all the firms that manufacture your equipment, hell, he's probably even got a stake in the financing company your house is bought through. But that's not the way it is, due to socialism! Thanks to movements like democratic socialism, Mister Capitalist Old White Man - we'll call him Mr. Cow M for now - you don't have to deal with the bullshit surrounding that kind of thing.

As long as I'm being a terrible person, let me tell you, the real world is nothing to be jealous of. Every day I work, I get up, drink a cup of coffee, try to be awake enough to be understandable. Then, I put on my work clothes - a uniform that doesn't fit too well and is uncomfortable after several hours - and drive to work in a beaten-up old Cavalier I know good and well isn't insured and has a hole in the gas tank. Then, I spent four to eight hours at a store selling office supplies, computers, and printers to typically middle-aged business assholes who couldn't give a shit less about the working class if they tried. I enjoy my job, but let's get one thing straight: you're not missing out on anything.

That's not the end of my day though. Then, I go home, usually pretty quickly - after all, since I'm a larger guy, my ankles get pretty beat up from the stress, and I'm on my feet all day, so I can't move my foot too well. It's hard to drive, but I grin and bear it. Then I go home, eat supper, then go upstairs with my computer and write and practice songs. My life is fucking awesome, I realize that - but only because I've been in worse situations. But the point is your life right now: perhaps my life is better than yours, objectively speaking, but as stories like the Prince and the Pauper have told me, you envy me, and in a lot of ways, I envy you. So stop being angry at the world because you lost a big fucking hand from birth. Some people get bad fucking hands like that but have the courage to ante up again. Do you?

But I digress. Let's get something very clear: I didn't know about Duck. Not insofar as their relationship. Also, it was a flirt with someone I had known for three years. No, I don't see the problem with that. I have a good friend who I used to go to school with, a guy friend nonetheless, and we jokingly flirt all the time. Why? Because we know it's a fucking goof and we're not trying to get in each other's pants! That's why!

No, she wasn't lying. Oh god, she wasn't lying. I could show you our exchanges, if I cared to sort through the thousands of messages we've had since then. She was fucking beside herself with misery. I, too, talked her down out of some pretty fucking bad decisions. Don't act like you've got some pity party waiting on you because you helped her.

Mary was absolutely broken by the way her and Duck's relationship ended up. She's still hurt by it. Just because she got with someone else who, according to her (and she is, in my unchangeable opinion, the only reliable source) treated her better, doesn't mean that it still doesn't hurt. So stop acting like it was an instant transition from one emotion to the other. It wasn't. I don't have any desire to explain to you every conversation me and my dearest have had since those days, in order to convince you; it wouldn't help your brickheaded self. You wouldn't change your mind even a little bit, so there's no point. (if you want me to, though, it's always an option...)

And no, I'm not talking about the bullshit you're pulling out of your ass. Furthermore, calm down, and quieten down. This isn't the 90s, we have these beautiful letters known as "lowercase" for all but the most extreme of situations. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, bud; you do not own exclusive rights over how we use the English language. Speaking of English language, I repeat, lighten up the fucking censoring, holy jumping fucking shitballs. It's hard to understand you when every few words is the word "fuck" with half of it censored out, okay? Okay. Good. Glad you understand. Okay.

What I'm talking about is how he cheated on her, told others that she "disgusted" him, et cetera. Things you don't fucking tell other people about your significant other. If friendship is, as you say, sticking with people through thick and thin, then why the fuck doesn't that count? I don't care if the person you're talking about bathes in shit and drinks piss from a cup made out of pig hooves, you don't fucking tell people that like that person's a person to make fun of, a thing to pity and turn one's nose at.

What I'm talking about is the way he was with her in the last few weeks of their relationship. That's the kind of shit I'm talking about. I don't doubt Mary said some things like that a few times, but if she did then, she changed, because there's been a few times I've been ready to take the morbid way out myself and she's never, ever said that. Maybe it'll come, but when it does, I'll forgive her and not make her feel like shit because of it.

I'm beginning to wonder if empathy is just one of those things you have to have a certain gene for. After all, your masthead describes you as a psychopath; maybe I just happened to get the gene that allows me to have a fluid, heartfelt sense of morality and you just drew the short straw in the genetic lottery. Sorry, mate. I mean, it seems that way in other ways, too, so who knows...

I brought up you hating me not as a plea for you to stop, but rather as a careful analysis of how I know you do. That's fine, I don't care if you hate me. I'd really rather everyone love me, but that's fine. My mom always had this awesome bumper sticker growing up, it said something like "We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient enough that he does not need us promoting his minor scholastic and extracurricular achievements on the back of our car", and that sentiment stuck with me, you know? I'm pretty okay with who I am. I'd like to weigh less, I'd like to know a little more, but who wouldn't?

Actually, lol, I do know what you lot have done to her. I know a good deal about it; I've seen screenshots, copypastes, et cetera. I've seen links to messages, I've seen a bunch, and I do mean a BUNCH of shit that tells me you lot have been fucking with her for far too long. You're done. Done. Done. Goodbye now. Stop it. Just admit you're wrong and that you've made mistakes, or at least say "Yeah, we should have been more honest", or "Yeah, we should have made the terms of our friendship more clear"

Speaking of that goofy fucking thing I keep referring to you guys having - a friendship - why the fuck does everyone keep bringing up shit like "We haven't liked her for a long time" and "She could always leave" and other goofy shit when I've personally witnessed the insults and anger you've thrown her way when she says she's going to. "Traitor! Coward! False!"

These are not the things one says to someone they don't mind leaving. When I quit Wikia a couple years back, no one said "How dare you leave!! I did such-and-such-nice-thing-to-you-way-back-two-years-ago-on-the-second-moon-of-autumn-at-four-aclock-when-the-alarms-sounded-that-made-you-happy!" No, no one said that, because they knew that if they ever needed me, truly needed me, I was there, somewhere. Plus, they weren't abusing me anyway. I don't know, maybe I just draw a better crowd than Mary has up until the past few months. Of course, then again, that could just be residual hatred stemming from you all.

You're hypocrites: you claim she needs you, she has to have you, you're important to her, she owes you, and more, then act like guilt-tripping is bad. I've been with her for three months, but I've known her for almost three years, and I've seen this fucking shit. She threatens to leave; you guilt-trip her into staying; she stays, and you then take turns calling her a coward, bitch, etc. but fuck that. I don't do hypocrisy. It isn't my thing.

And on the police thing: try to put yourself in this position. You're out of hope, out of your mind, and your mom is pushing you into walls, pushing you down, punching you, just generally beating the fuck out of you. Do you think for one second you're going to rationally, calmly analyze the situation? NO! You're going to follow your instinct - which she did. Stop acting like she's stupid because she didn't do what you claim you would have done in the same situation, one which you've never been in.

I'm not going to dissect every point, because this message is already too long.

But I'm going to say this.

Maybe I'm not talking specifically to you. I'm also not saying that you did those things necessarily. But there are others who did say those things, and you don't pull bullshit like "You have to stay, and endure our bullshit, because we helped you at one point in time" if you're a real friend. Or maybe you do, I don't know. I don't know how your friendships work; all I know is that I would never withstand that shit.

Furthermore, I'm not saying Mary's never done anything to piss you off. I'm not trying to say she's all perfect. I know that people do some shit that you wouldn't want someone to do and it makes you angry. But I'm also not going to say it wasn't deserved, because from what I've seen, a lot of it was. Maybe she did do some irrational things. You're right, I haven't seen that part. (Admitting fault. A novel idea, eh?) But I'm also not going to act like everything you do - teasing and joking about her to the point that she leaves, and when she comes back, continuing the exact same thing just to stroke your ego - is justified. I'm sure a very few cases of your anger were justified, but the degree to which you've taken some of this shit is too fucking far.

Look, I'm a pretty simple guy, if you haven't noticed. I'm not asking you to do anything more than this:


 * 1) Stop making her feel like shit just to satisfy your primal urge for vengeance and retribution;
 * 2) Leave her alone for good once this is over;
 * 3) If she does decide she wants to come back, admit that everyone made some mistakes and if you decide you want to try again, try to start the friendship back up from the start;
 * 4) An apology would be awesome, but seeing as you don't seem to see the problems you yourself have caused, I don't see that coming.

Finally, onto the last point: yes, I'm being an inconsiderate asshole. Why? Because apparently, you lot don't see the problem with stooping to one's level, and I figure if you can do it, I can do it better. I'm being an inconsiderate asshole because yep, I knew that would hit close to home. And it did. Don't even try to pull the "I'm not angry" card.

You're angry.

You're angry at me.

You're angry at Mary.

You're angry at the world.

You're angry with everyone who's ever spoken to you who didn't place you above themselves, and everyone who you think wronged you. I can understand being angry at a person who wrongs you... for about a week or so. Maybe. But fuck, I get wronged everyday. You know what I do? I let it slide off, like water off a duck's back. Because it doesn't fucking matter. Maybe it does to you - seeing as you're physically, practically confined to the Internet and practically unable to fight back or do anything about it - but it doesn't to me. If I, a young, fat man of mixed race with Autism, can allow things to just slide off his back and not think on them too long, I'm pretty sure you can too. It's not hard. Not even a little bit.

I will fuck off when you do. This is just three or four months worth of anger bursting through.

You know, though? It's funny. When me and Kistu began to get closer, or when, for example, I helped out with the Law situation (since he involved me in it), I honestly just figured it was you guys' being disturbed that made you made at me. But when our friendship grew, and we eventually started dating and I realized that you held us against her, that's when I realized you guys weren't stupid - weren't full of shit - you were and are fucking nuts. But before that, I kept saying to myself, "They're okay people. They just need space. That's cool, I respect that."

I still respect you guys as an idea, as an abstract concept. What I don't respect is your bigotry, your hypocrisy, and your will to dominate all around you. I know why you do that, by the way. You try to control others through the Internet because you can't control your own life all that well. It's sad, really.

I'm sorry for everything that's gone so terribly wrong, my dearly devoted dwimmerlaik.

The Paranoid -  Send me a letter from the frontlines  06:50, July 2, 2016 (UTC)